If I had a million dollars...

...actually, more like 74 million dollars.

My best friend, Kressa and I were talking about some of the stuff we would buy if we had won the lottery. I have been thinking about that more and I've come up with an on-going list of things I would do and buy, in no real particular order.

Oh, and I'm a bit of a grump this morning so it's possible some of these items could get violent. But really, would you expect anything less?


1.)First, I would NOT go on the news. It will be hard enough to keep it from people once family and friends find out. I always found that to be a very unsafe and stupid decision. Let's tell the entire metro area that I know have a shitload of money and will be purchasing a shitload of things that you could possible steal.

2.) Give money to my mom and step-dad so they could quit their jobs and also give money to my brother and sister-in-law so they could buy a new house without having to worry about selling their loft and generally have fewer things to worry about. Also give money to David's family.

3.) Give money to Kressa and her family. Because I said I would. :)

4.) Have Danzig play my birthday party as well as other random shows and just generally attempt to become friends with him. Me + Danzig = BFF's (?)

5.) Have Rush killed...at aforementioned birthday party.

6.) Have the entire cast of Jersey Shore killed...and then be thanked by millions.

7.) Get tattooed....heavily.

8.) Tell my current employer to SUCK IT! Probably in a much more vulgar fashion and as loudly as possible.

9.) Donate to various charities such as local animal shelters, breast cancer funds, etc...

10.) Fly out for the Zeke, The Dwarves and Reverend Horton Heat show in Seattle on New Years Eve.

11.) I wouldn't buy a crazy big house because they're usually newer houses and I have a thing about new houses. I'd buy a really nice older home, have it all paid off and fix it up if necessary.

12.) Purchase: '55 Chevy Bel-Air, primer black; '05 Ford Thunderbird convertible, turquoise or red; probably some sort of 50's or 60's truck. I wouldn't really need a "winter" vehicle because I hate winter and cold weather so I would just fly David and I to some place warm for the season.

13.) Buy a house out in California (so Danzig and I can hang out)

14.)Obviously, pay off whatever bills/debt that might be floating around for me and my family.

15.)Travel...a lot. Germany, Scotland, Amsterdam, Australia, Ireland, Paris (just for the Louvre, then we're out!) Italy, Switzerland, New Zealand and of course in the States.

16.)SHOP.

17.) Open up franchises of White Castle, Jack in the Box, In and Out Burger and Sbarro's in Kansas City.


To be continued...