Happy Belated Valentine's Day!

I hope everyone had a lovely Valentine's Day. Mine was pretty uneventfull but we decided to keep it low key this year. Valentine's Day isn't really a huge deal in our household. I'm a pain in the ass to shop for anyway, so I keep the forced shopping down to two dates a year.

I re-vamped my website recently and posted new pictures from Giangreco Photography. They're from our Valentine's shoot of course. This weekend we're doing a beach/summer themed set which I'm really excited about. I even ordered a super cute sailor hat to bring along!

While wasting time at work the other day, I found these adorable (and sometimes creepy) vintage Valentine's Day cards.

This one is my favorite!







Nothing like threatening the one you love with violence...swoon...











And the winner for the creepiest Valentine ever is.....(drum roll please)


GOOGELY EYES! With a gun of course!


They sure don't make 'em like they used to.


With Love,

Have I mentioned on here how much I despise cold weather? And snow? And ice? And essentially everything that the months November through February dump on my fair state of Missouri?

David bought me these gorgeous heels (that's 5 3/4 inch, in case you were wondering) for Christmas and they are terribly difficult to navigate in 8 inches of snow.


When the dreary months roll into town, I have a tendency to abandon my normal style and attitude and just wear my regular rotation of t-shirts, jeans and tennis shoes or boots. Unless, however, we're going out some place, I will sacrifice comfort for style and take the chance of freezing to death or slipping and breaking a hip on some ice...all for the sake of lookin' purdy.

I wish I would change my thinking and dress the way I really want all year round but that is much easier said than done for me. In the spring, summer and the warmer part of fall, I can justify wearing a nice dress, doing my hair, going all out even if I'm just stuck in my office all day. During those times of the year, it's much easier to get out and about to garage sales, estate sales and other places that one would find general vintage awesomeness on the weekends.

But who, WHO, I ask, would want to do anything that would require going out in this...



That last picture might look serine and quiet but when I look at it, I see pain. I see trudging out to my car in a long-sleeve shirt, hoodie, coat, gloves, boots, hat and scarf to defrost and scrape off the ice and 8 inches of snow so I can attempt to make it out of my neighborhood alive then make the slow trek to work all the while, praying that I don't skid off the road or some asshole with 4-wheel drive who's undoubtedly driving waaaay to fast won't rear-end me. This is why, much like bears, my husband and I tend to hibernate in the winter time.

I've always said that I cannot dress for winter but I think more about that, and it's not entirely true. To be brutally honest with myself, a lot of it is just laziness and lack of motivation. In the winter months, I don't find the need to get gussied up (unless we're going out of course) when it's going to be hidden behind my coat and loads of other protective outwear for 90% of the time. But, as I write this, I'm making a promise to myself (since winter here will probably last until mid-March. Queue the tears!) that I will make more of an effort to implore my usual style and attitude towards fashion, despite whatever mood mother nature is in!

As a start for me and those like me, I've discovered some amazing fall/winter clothes and accessories that would be the perfect place to start!

Quick Wit Dress from ModCloth


Norma Jean Winter Dress, also from ModCloth


1940's Green Leopard Capelet from Posh Girl Vintage


1960's Creamy Ivory Wool Sheep Fur Trim Coat from Posh Girl Vintage


This adorable Red Beaded Short-Sleeve Sweater on eBay would be great with a pair of cigarette pants and heels or flats.


Greant 1950's style Nylon Sweater also from eBay would be super cute with a pair of high-waisted pants.


I looooovvveeee this dress from Daddy O's


On this simple striped dress from Daddy O's, you could throw a cropped sweater with it and a pair of wrist-length black gloves to warm it up!



Hopefully, I can pull myself out of this winter rutt and get back on track! It's not going to snow this week and it's going to be above freezing! So we're already headed in the right direction. I'm getting my chest tattooed this weekend (SQQQUUUUUUEEEEEEAAAAALLLLL!!!! I'm SO Excited!) so as soon as I can wear clothes that don't have a v-neck or a scoop neck without writhing in pain, I'll post pics of my first winter outfits!

If I had a million dollars...

...actually, more like 74 million dollars.

My best friend, Kressa and I were talking about some of the stuff we would buy if we had won the lottery. I have been thinking about that more and I've come up with an on-going list of things I would do and buy, in no real particular order.

Oh, and I'm a bit of a grump this morning so it's possible some of these items could get violent. But really, would you expect anything less?


1.)First, I would NOT go on the news. It will be hard enough to keep it from people once family and friends find out. I always found that to be a very unsafe and stupid decision. Let's tell the entire metro area that I know have a shitload of money and will be purchasing a shitload of things that you could possible steal.

2.) Give money to my mom and step-dad so they could quit their jobs and also give money to my brother and sister-in-law so they could buy a new house without having to worry about selling their loft and generally have fewer things to worry about. Also give money to David's family.

3.) Give money to Kressa and her family. Because I said I would. :)

4.) Have Danzig play my birthday party as well as other random shows and just generally attempt to become friends with him. Me + Danzig = BFF's (?)

5.) Have Rush killed...at aforementioned birthday party.

6.) Have the entire cast of Jersey Shore killed...and then be thanked by millions.

7.) Get tattooed....heavily.

8.) Tell my current employer to SUCK IT! Probably in a much more vulgar fashion and as loudly as possible.

9.) Donate to various charities such as local animal shelters, breast cancer funds, etc...

10.) Fly out for the Zeke, The Dwarves and Reverend Horton Heat show in Seattle on New Years Eve.

11.) I wouldn't buy a crazy big house because they're usually newer houses and I have a thing about new houses. I'd buy a really nice older home, have it all paid off and fix it up if necessary.

12.) Purchase: '55 Chevy Bel-Air, primer black; '05 Ford Thunderbird convertible, turquoise or red; probably some sort of 50's or 60's truck. I wouldn't really need a "winter" vehicle because I hate winter and cold weather so I would just fly David and I to some place warm for the season.

13.) Buy a house out in California (so Danzig and I can hang out)

14.)Obviously, pay off whatever bills/debt that might be floating around for me and my family.

15.)Travel...a lot. Germany, Scotland, Amsterdam, Australia, Ireland, Paris (just for the Louvre, then we're out!) Italy, Switzerland, New Zealand and of course in the States.

16.)SHOP.

17.) Open up franchises of White Castle, Jack in the Box, In and Out Burger and Sbarro's in Kansas City.


To be continued...

So I had this dream...

I, on a consistent basis, have fucked up dreams. I’m not just talking weird either- I mean even on the “fucking crazy scale for dreams”, mine are usually off the charts. Some are way more fucked than others. Some are just down-right creepy. It’s gotten to the point where I’m used to it now. Because they are so out there, I can usually remember even the smallest details about them, which I can’t decide if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I really want to invent some sort of machine where you can record your dreams and play them back for people because I’m convinced that I can sell them to people like Rob Zombie or Quentin Tarentino and make some money off of them. I figure I could at least peddle a few dreams for a couple grand…I could live with that.

Most of my dreams have multiple parts that have nothing to do with one another. It’s as if I have one dream, either wake up or just stop dreaming for whatever reason, and have another dream. It really makes telling someone else about it even more difficult. I don’t usually bother telling people about my dreams because there isn’t much of a point. Most other people don’t give a fuck about other people’s dreams (unless they themselves are involved somehow) because they make absolutely no sense and there is no way to make it sound sensible.

I felt the need to blog about this dream in particular mostly because it was just so goddamned retarded; even I had a hard time trying to comprehend it. I’ve only really told a few other people besides my poor husband about my dreams. I’m sure he’s convinced he’s married to a crazy lady and based off these, he might be right…


So this dream I had last night: Part one starts out in some sort of bog, possibly a bayou of some kind (?) and of course I was there with my cat, John Wayne (that I no longer have) and he was telling me how badly he wanted to go swimming. Apparently, he had seen other animals swimming in this swamp and decided that he too wanted to go for a dip. Naturally, I’m attempting to talk him out of it. I tell him that not only do most cats hate water but there are alligators and other such creatures that could eat him up and that this whole swimming notion was just a generally bad idea. Whilst my cat and I were having this conversation, an elderly couple in a beat-up RV almost runs us over. Attempting to apologize for this, they invite us to a shore-side beach party, of sorts, that the entire trailer park has been invited to. I’m talking Super White Trash, like whoa. There was a lot of flannel (at the beach, of course), a lot of bad, short haircuts and a lot more cussing…oh and a mass of cut-off jean shorts/swimming trunks.

So my cat and I are apparently having a grand ol’ time when my dog Roscoe shows up. Being that he is a basset hound and most of the guests at this party were sans teeth, he was a big hit! They just loved him to death. He jumped in the water with everyone and was swimming around, just generally loving life. Well, one of the more Rosie O’Donnell-esque ladies there tried to take his tennis ball away and of course, he snapped (who wouldn’t?) So that just threw everyone into a shit-fit with me defending his actions and then they unanimously decided that my menagerie and I were no longer welcome and we were banished back into the bog.

-Cut to Part Two-

Basically this dream section was the last ten to fifteen minutes of Jurassic Park, just more ridiculous.

Everyone (me, the main scientist guy who is now played by Guy, the long-haired fellow from Half Baked who rarely left the couch and two other random old folks) are in the main building trying to run from a few raptors. Well Guy decides that he needs to start conditioning himself to escape from these dinosaurs (a bit late, huh) so he starts doing sprints up and down the giant stairwell, as he is doing this, those random old people somehow get themselves in quite the pickle. How this happened, I have no idea but they went from being on the floor to hanging from the banner in the rafters (by their hands, not their necks if ya follow me). I start yelling at them for their carelessness and all of a sudden a few more raptors show up except one is in a neck brace of sorts and has a cane. He seems very downtrodden, like he’s just been in some sort of raptor throw down, was defeated and then laughed mercilessly at as he made his way through the raptor crowd. So this raptor sees Guy doing calisthenics on the stairwell and something comes over him apparently. He decides that he’s going to prove all those other mean ass raptors that he’s still got it and proceeds to chase down and devour Guy. Just as he finishes eating, a T-Rex crashes through the goddamn ceiling, eats aforementioned raptors and then lets out a terrible roar/growl/whatever loud noise dinosaurs made. And then…

I woke up.

That’s it.

Yeah...I know. Try and interpret that one.



I promise you, none of what I just typed is made-up. I’ve got quite the imagination but I don’t even think I could come up with that shit on my own.

I've had other dreams that are waaayyy creepier. Like my husband racing fat, Pugsly-like children up trees covered in ice and him crawling on the ceiling then turning his head aallll the way around ala that baby in Transpotting. I watch a lot of horror movies and have seen some pretty fucked up stuff yet I don't really have nightmares so I guess this is just my mind's way of getting back at me. I've done drawings/paintings based of some of my spookier dreams. I guess a T-Rex painting would be pretty cool...

Thought of the Day

Russell Simmons caught some flack because he called Courtney Love a "crackhead" after she accidentally uploaded naked photos of herself to her Twitter.

Um, Courtney Love IS a crackhead. I thought this was common knowledge. It's like yelling at someone for calling an orange "an orange".

He had nothing to apologize for.

Wax Museum

So in my previous post, I talked about visiting a wax museum in St. Louis. Well, I really want to open a wax museum now and I was thinking about the people I would have in it. With out further adu-here's my list of people I think either deserve to be immortalized in wax or at the very least, they would be a lot of fun to make!

Musicians/Bands: (in no particular order)
Danzig as well as the Misfits
Ronnie James Dio
Metallica (long hair)
The Rolling Stones (in the 70's)
KISS
Jerry Lee Lewis (complete with flaming piano and 13 year old Myra)
Buddy Holly
Link Ray
Dick Dale
Billie Holiday
Michael Buble
The Rat Pack (as well as young Frank Sinatra)
Downtown Julie Brown
Bobby Darin
Dwight Yoakam





Movie Stars:
Joan Crawford (of course)
Judy Garland
Bette Davis
Betty Grable
Steve Buschemi
John Cusack
Rock Hudson
Kevin Spacey
Marilyn Monroe (Some Like It Hot)
Juliet Lewis and Woody Harrelson as Mickey and Mallory
The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Meatloaf



Horror:
Leatherface (1974)
Pennywise (even though I'm deathly afraid of clowns, this would be a terrifying addition. Someone else would have to make it haha)
All the Universal Monsters of course
Hellraiser
Michael Myers
Ed Gein
John Wayne Gacy
Jeffrey Dahmer
Ted Bundy
Edmund Kemper
Charles Manson
Albert Fish
Eileen Wornose (even though I despise her and her fame, she would be a really gross wax figure)
Richard Kuklinski (if you don't know who he is, read "Iceman: Confessions of a mafia hit man" it's amazing!)
The "Shaving Scene" from Cabin Fever
The Devils Rejects
The Phantom of the Opera


Public Figures: (the "Other" Category really haha)
Dita Von Teese
Bettie Page
Tempest Storm
Lily St. Cyr
The guys from Ghost Adventures (hilarious)
Ren and Stimpy (along with Mr. Horse and Powdered Toast Man)

St. Louis

So the hubby and I took a little vacation last week to St. Louis for a few days. We haven't had the chance to take our honeymoon but weren't able to make it to Las Vegas just yet, so we decided to compromise and drive a few hours east to get out of town for a while. It was a really refreshing vacation. We both really needed it.

Here's the link to my facebook photo album with all the pictures in it as I didn't have time to post them on here!

I drive a lot. I have a nice, reliable, four-door vehicle and it seems that I'm always driving everyone around and it really is the best car for travel. Now I have heard from people out-of-state that the folks in nearby Johnson County (just over the state line in KS) are some the worst drivers they have ever experienced...and I whole-heartedly agreed; that was BEFORE this trip to St. Louis. I have never been SO frustrated while driving in my life. The speed limit in that general region (we actually stayed just outside of St. Louis in a city called Chesterfield) is apparently just a suggestion! You could go 60 or you could go 85! Turn signals are obsolete, don't even bother. Even if you did use your signal, people completely ignore them as if they have no idea what a turn signal is for! I saw people cut across four lane highways to get to the off-ramp, a gentleman in a giant white van decided that he was exiting prematurely and instead of continuing on the ramp to get back onto the highway at a later time, he jerked his van (at the very last possible moment and WITHOUT a turn signal, if you can believe that) directly in front me and i had to swerve/slam on my breaks to avoid from being hit. A friend of ours that we were visiting with while out there told us that the highway that runs through his city (High Ridge, MO) has about two to three deaths a month, if not more, because of the way people drive. It's like they think it's a god dammed race track!
Worst. Drivers. Ever.

Oh and if you're from St. Louis and you're offended by the above paragraph then I'm going to go ahead and assume that you are one of the horrible drivers I had to deal with and well...you fucking suck. Get a bike.

Anyway!!

We got into town Thursday afternoon and headed straight to the tattoo shop. Both David and I got tattooed while on vacation. Our amazing friend Aaron owns Diablo Ink Tattoo (High Ridge, MO) and we make it a point to attempt to get tattooed by him whenever we head to St. Louey. David started an awesome, giant madusa on his thigh. So far it's just some ghost lines and some black/grey shading. It will be in color and will take about thirty more hours of work.

After he got around three and half hours in, we called it quits and Aaron, along with his awesome girlfriend Cat, took us out to dinner at this great little restaurant in Festus, MO called Petit Paree. The decor was amazing, I really should have taken some pictures. French impressionist paintings all over, pin-ups galore also! It was dimmly lit, there weren't a whole lot of people on our side of the restaurant; nice and quiet.

We had smoked haddock and es gargo for appetizers. Well I had the smoked haddock-which was delicious but I could not bring myself to try the es cargo. I'm sure that it tasted yummy but I'm a texture person and I just couldn't do it. For the main course, Aaron had filet mingon, Cat had grilled tilapia, David had giant scallops and I had a great fried cod. All in all, it was a pretty tasty dinner and a nice way to start off our vacation. After dinner, David was pretty spent after the tattoo so we high-tailed it back to our hotel where we both proceeded to pass out.

Friday morning we got up early, had breakfast at The Original Pankcake House-DELICIOUS. I highly recommend you check this place out if you get the chance. We then headed to Riverfront to scope out the arch. We didn't really have time to wait in line for tickets to go up (we didn't really have an itinerary all weekend and we suffered a bit for it.) After the arch, we drove around trying to find a wax musuem that I had heard about but unable to find out-and getting frustrated-we went back to the hotel to relax for a short while before heading back to the tattoo shop so I could get tattooed (yay!)

My Frankenstein took about two and half hours and I just adore it! It's the perfect compliment to my Bride and I'm getting Lon Chaney as The Phantom of the Opera next (all paintings by Basil Gogo.) After the tattoo, we headed back to the hotel to recouperate and get some dinner. We greatly under-estimated the amount of people that dine at all the restaurants by our hotel and being that it was around 7 or 8, everything was PACKED to the gills. We drove back and forth down the "main drag" until we decided (and were able) to get a table at this great Mexican joint called El Matador. It was exactly the same restaurant as La Fuenta or El Maguey here in KC, so we were happy to know that our food was going to be good and it was! The rest of the evening was spent back at our hotel watching TV and just relaxing. Getting tattooed can take it out of ya!

Saturday we headed back down the riverfront, after visiting the nearby target so I could buy a new belt, jeans and tank top haha. We ate a place called Joey B's where I was disappointed at the fact that all their pizzas were made with provel cheese (apparently a big st. louis thing) so although I was dying for pizza, I got the roast beef and swiss which was pretty good. David got a bacon burger with about five whole onion rings thrown on top with bacon and BBQ sauce. He said it tasted good but it was so ridiculously sloppy, he had a hard time enjoying it. This restaurant had a giant shot list with all the fun and quirky names and what was in each shot. My favorite were the Nazi from Hell-Jaeger, Goldschalger and Rumpleminz. Disgusting. We finished off lunch with two shots of what they had named "Puerto Rican Prostitute" which were delicious. Midori, Bacardi 151 and Pineapple Juice. YUM!

After lunch we finally found the god dammed wax Museum. I loovvveed this place. I officially want to open my own here in KC. We don't have one, and I think I'm just the person to start one up! The first couple of floors were the typical stuff-movie starts, musicians, politicians, some super creepy dwarves, then there was the horror section (the most appropriate time for my camera to die causing me to switch to my phone...i was sad) then the very bottom was the "Not for the faint of heart" section I guess you could call it. It was awesome. I was really impressed with not only the figures themselves, but some of the environments they had created.

We went the casino next because it was down the street and we were actually pretty lucky. He hit about$75 on roullette and I won $60 of a penny slot. Then we went back to the hotel for a while until we decided on dinner. Since he wasn't hungry and I still hadn't gotten my pizza fix, I ate at this place called East Coast Pizza. Not bad, not bad at all.

We didn't want to drive all the way back into the city but didn't want to go back to hotel yet, so we ended up at the Chesterfield Mall. There was a store that we though was long gone called Slackers. They actually sold cd's, movies, posters, action figures and comics! We purchased the last awesome Slayer poster for $8 and I bought The Omen, American History X and a compilation of documentaries about serial killers-all for under $20. The rest of the night we relaxed at the hotel, then we were up bright and early to drive home! All in all it was a really nice vacation and we were not ready to come back, that's for sure.